I have unintentionally insulted friends and gave them the impression that I don't like their spouses or the decisions they had made. I've made people in my family feel like I thought I was better than them. (Not even close and definitely not meant the way they took it) Sometimes my mouth and brain don't exactly understand one another.
I bet there isn't anyone out the who can't relate to the following.
Recently I have been challenged to keep my mouth shut while someone quite close to us has repeatedly made decisions completely out of their character. While those decisions have affected their own life, the waves have also trickled into the rest of their family as well. This person will repeatedly complain about their spouse, express concern for their future, their safety and yet has asked us to pretend to not know anything about it. This person will show up at our house, complain and say that's it, I'm done and yet by the time they return to their house, they have obviously talked themselves out of it. And while this irritates me to no end, I have come to terms with the fact that there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. Everyone has expressed their concerns with little to no avail. Our only hope is that one day they will see the light.
In the meantime, I will make decisions that will protect my family and be at peace with the fact that I have done everything I can do. I will no longer dwell on the situation and take solace in the fact that decisions I have made in my life have allowed for a much different lifestyle; one that I wouldn't trade for anything else in the world. And while I know this sounds harsh, I have realized that not everyone wants help nor do they want advice. But for my own sanity, I no longer can be repeatedly exposed to the negativity. I have made the decision to do as they have asked and ignore the issue. However, when the day comes that they decide to make a change, I will be right there to help them with whatever they need. Until then, I will be doing daily affirmations.
"Sadly as I get older it has become apparent that I have an even harder time keeping my opinion to myself" I don't think it's "sadly" at all! I think it means you are living a more authentic life and being more true to yourself. Sometimes people take our silence as agreeable with their point of view, so if you're not speak up! You're opinion is formed from a life well lived.
ReplyDeleteI normally completely agree, however, this instance when they don't acknowledge me at all, for my own sanity I need to let it go. It's so frustrating. But I promise you that my mouth is not entirely silenced. Lol I figure hanging around with you, it will only become stronger! Ha!
Delete((HUGS)) Nicole. You know we love you exactly the way you are and I wouldn't change a thing about you.
ReplyDeleteOne of my good friends who I see as a spiritual guide of sorts said to me the other day:
"What is NOT a good thing is that you allow your GOOD sense of justice and right and wrong to then imprison you in feelings of bitterness and rage when justice doesn't rule. That you hate the way this is making you feel. That is a good thing. Because where we allow our minds to go after we acknowledge the right or wrong of someone else's actions results in the right or wrong of our own way of thinking/responding to life and messed up people."
Trust that God has this all worked out, but continue to protect yourself and your family. You have every right. LOVE YOU XOXOXO
Love you too Michelle! I am beginning to believe that all of this is a greater plan for that person to grow and learn. Whether it be patience or something else, I don't know but I am beginning to think it has come to be to pull you and I closer together and for that I am ever so thankful! :). Looking forward to seeing you at Christmas!
Delete