Recently, in a group I followed on Facebook, someone asked for everyone to post a picture of them and their best friend. I was amazed at how this one little request was so upsetting for me. The realization hit that I no longer have that "girl" who has my back. Don't get me wrong, I have lots of ladies who I am lucky to call my friends. Sadly though, all the girls that used to be my rock either live very far away or life has caused us to drift apart.
Over the last 17 years my husband has become my best friend. He is the one I want to call first when something happens, he drops everything when I need help, and this has been enough for me. However, I have recently been watching my daughter invest all of her time with her boyfriend and slowly reducing her "girl" time to practically nothing. This for some reason is very concerning to me. While she has a fabulous boyfriend, I believe it is important to keep those relationships with other girls.
This got me to thinking. What if something happened with my husband and I? I literally wouldn't have that ONE girl to call for moral support. I really don't currently have that ONE girl who calls me up and says "let's go on a trip, let's go shopping, let's go to the movies." How did I let this happen?
Growing up I wanted LOTS of friends. I craved it. Being unpopular my pool was limited but I had that one girl who just "got" me. The one that you could see all day and still phone that night and talk for another couple of hours. That was until I made some new friends in another town and while I partied with them, she no longer wanted to be around me. I had changed. After that phase ended, we rekindled our friendship and we can still talk for hours on the phone like it was old times but she lives 4 hours away and with us both having kids and husbands who work out of town, we have only seen each other a few times in the last 15 years.
I had a couple of really good friends when I got married and as Ally was growing up but now they both live in another city and while I love visiting them, it has become quite apparent I am now more of a third wheel when I am there. But it makes sense, they get "Bestie time."
Reading that post and seeing all those friends that have the ability to have "bestie time" made me feel empty inside. Some posted pictures of their moms, sisters, cousins and this didn't exactly help because I have no family here either. =(
I spoke with my daughter and asked "What if something happens to you and your boyfriend? Who will you turn to?" She looks at me and smiles, "I'll have my mommy." I don't know whether to smile or cry, because as awesome as that sounds to me, I just don't want her to end up as alone as I am right now.
Pity party is now closed.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE this post.
ReplyDeleteA girl's lifelong bestie is her mom... I too have struggled with this my whole life. My parents moved a lot when I was in school. Tim, like Russ, is also my bestie but take that away and my mom and I have a sister nearby but we still don't see each other that often. I guess its part of growing up. None of us want to do it but there you go. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteI guess the hard realization is that in 3 years Ally will be gone and on the weeks he is gone, it will be me and me alone. That will be very hard. Trying to figure out how to fill the void.
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